This blog is me being explicit with my love languages. Why you ask? As a high functioning introvert, I love using frameworks to guide my social interactions with people around me. While I see a bunch of flaws with the construct of defining someone’s love languages I appreciate a lose framework that helps me frame my conversations with others.
A brief explanation
Gary Chapman wrote a book titled
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts that explains what he thinks are the 5 ways people express love to their significant others. This Wikipedia excerpt ought to help you get the gist.
According to Chapman, the five ways to express and experience love called “love languages” are:
- words of affirmation,
- quality time,
- receiving gifts,
- acts of service,
- physical touch.
Examples are given from his counseling practice, as well as questions to help determine one’s own love languages. According to Chapman’s theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language.
Gary Chapman also wrote similar books about how these love languages apply to other relationships one has such as children, friends. He suggests some ways to identify your and your significant other’s love languages as well.
A guessing game
Before you continue reading, pause and answer the following questions.
- What are your love languages?
- What do you think my love languages are?
Naina’s love languages
So let’s see if you got my love languages right! Muhahahaha!
Primary love language: Physical touch. Should come as no surprise to people who know me. I am a BIG (well I’m short) hugger. I love getting hugs and giving them. It’s how I tell people I care for them or I missed them!
Secondary love language: Words of affirmation. I make an active effort to surround myself with people whom I can cheer on, and words of affirmation and encouragement are how I express love. But as someone who is always on the brink of being burnt out, words of affirmation and encouragement is what pushes me to work harder. Should I be working less? Yes. That’s another blog.