Since I moved from San Francisco to Mountain View, I have been able to hear my neighbours (to the left, right, and upstairs) a lot more easily! I blame shoddy construction materials and being home 24/7 due to a global pandemic. Being conflict averse, I have only confronted my neighbours on one occasion. So this is the letter or the speech I always wish I could give to my neighbours.
Hi, hello, sup,
How are you? Been a tough year hasn’t it? Yeah it has! I’m an introvert so you would think I would shine in the middle of a pandemic. But no. I am hurting as much as others are. Being single has made things harder for me. I have no one I can go on walks with. No one I can grocery shop with or have cute at home dates with.
I am oversharing aren’t I? It comes full end I promise. You see my routine has definitely lagged behind during COVID, I am up late at night and wake up just in time to shower and log on to work. However, I am momentarily roused from my slumber at 6 am when I hear your voices across the hall. Hats off to you for being up at 6 am! I wish I had your routine. You might think I am a light sleeper. I am not! I sleep like the dead! Yup that means that either you are loud or the walls are made of crap material. I think both statements are true.
Weekends are supposed to be a respite from the grind. You could love your work and still look forward to the weekend. That is your time, and pre pandemic you could do as you saw fit. You could go to brunch with friends, stay at home, go out to clubs. The pandemic has severely limited your options.* However, I can hear that you aren’t sticking to the restrictions. You are having a party. You could ask how I know there are guests over? All I should be able to hear is the loud music. You would be wrong, I can hear your guests. Yup that means that either you are loud or the walls are made of crap material. I think both statements are true.
Having people over on the weekends is tolerable. That’s not the time we made eye contact for the first time. I enjoyed your musical taste from across the walls. Played my own and baked goods. Goods I then shipped to my friends whom I couldn’t meet even though they were in the same city as me. No, the first time we made eye contact was when you had a birthday party at midnight on a weekday. Happy Birthday! I hope the coming year goes amazing not just for you but for all of us. However, it’s 1 am on a Thursday and your living room shares a wall with my bedroom, so I can once again hear the music that followed the birthday song. I am also doing sleep math in my head now. You know sleep math. If I sleep now and wake up by X, I can get 8 hours of sleep. It is now 2 am and I can now hear In da Club by 50 Cent. So yes, while I might not be Shawty or the birthday person, I do “go”. I go into the hallway and ring your doorbell. You open on the third bell. Yup that means that either you are loud or the walls are made of crap material. I think both statements are true.
Yes, I am a 29 year old. But that doesn’t stop me from acting like an 80 year old grumpy woman. I do apologize for that. It’s been a tough year like I said at the start of this letter. I do wish you the best, I hope your birthdays are full of laughter and your friends bring you joy. I know mine do. Birthdays and friends. I hope your routine keeps you sane. I know my lack of one is driving me insane. Yup that means that either I am insane or the or the walls are made of crap material. I think both statements are true.
Your neighbour Naina
P.S. Does this letter read stalker-ish? Yes. Could I be recast as the female Joe in You. Possibly. I don’t have the follow through though 🤷🏽♀️
*I know that everything has opened up again, but go on this journey with me.